With the news that Costco’s free samples have returned to store aisles, we’re fondly recalling all our past trips to America’s finest big box wholesale corporation, and we’re far from the only ones. After all, this massive chain has spawned a legion of superfans for a reason: it’s a harshly lit haven from stylishness, a place that promises cheap luxuries, exciting baked goods, affordable feasts, big honkin’ portions, and irresistible rotisserie chicken that may or may not be bad for us. (Relax! It’s fine. Maybe just don’t eat the high-sodium store-bought kind for every single meal. Instead, supplement with homemade occasionally.) And the booze—I haven’t even mentioned the respectable line of Kirkland-brand booze yet!
I’m not braving the Costco parking lot or long lines of weekend shoppers very often, mind you. But whenever I do go, I’m always tempted go all out. It’s not just the deals themselves that are enticing; it’s the idea that you’re the first, or maybe the only one to spot them, stumbling upon a sale meant solely for you, so that you might seize upon this golden opportunity to live the frugal-yet-bountiful lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of. That is, I’m sure, why Costco fan accounts on Instagram always have so many followers: we all want that vicarious rush of catching a markdown in the wild.
Not all of us have the time, energy, or peppiness to start Costco fan accounts on Instagram. And just because we’re exhausted by the very idea of social media doesn’t mean we don’t each have some valuable Costco intel to share. That’s where you come in, readers. Sure, everyone always lauds the hot dogs and the cinnamon rolls, but there are lesser known deals and delights that we’re sure you could illuminate for us. Here are my three best pieces of intel:
1. Kirkland bacon rules.
2. Some Chicago corner stores, presumably to pad their inventory between delivery days, stock Kirkland products like butter, frozen pizzas, and paper towels. While these are probably sold at a significant markup to make it worthwhile for the store owner, at least it means that people without a Costco membership can get a taste of those coveted Kirkland products for themselves.
3. No, really, Kirkland bacon is excellent.
Now you go.