As the old saying goes, if you find a job doing what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life. This was clearly not the case for 32-year-old Dundee, Florida man Brian Anderson, who wanted so desperately to bail on his 11 a.m. shift at a Hardee’s that he instead opted to fake his own robbery at gunpoint.
A Facebook post from the Polk County Sheriff’s Office (covering the region east of Tampa/St. Petersburg) tells of Brian’s eventful Tuesday morning. As always, avoid reading the comments:
Brian of Dundee called 911 to report an armed robbery. Two unknown suspects took his money, his necklace, and his cellphone. They threw the phone on the ground, jumped into a black Ford Crown Victoria and sped away. Deputies quickly responded, along with Air and K-9.
However, these weren’t exactly the facts:
Deputies quickly learned that the robbery never happened, and Brian confessed that he made up the story because…you’d better sitting down for this…because he didn’t want to show up for his 11:00 a.m. shift at the restaurant where he works.
Brian was arrested and charged with Misuse of 911 and Knowingly Giving False Information to Law Enforcement.
On the bright side, Brian didn’t have to go to his 11:00 a.m. shift at the restaurant.
Listen, it’s easy to dunk on Florida. Matching crime reports about the elusive Florida Man to one’s birthday has even become a popular social-media meme. But until the day comes that he’s no longer being picked up for trafficking cocaine in Lunchables or jumping McDonald’s employees over straws or using a George Foreman Grill to bake cookies (nude) or trying to pass a sandwich off as his penis or using weed for currency at the Circle K, we’ll keep bringing the hard-hitting facts about his daily misadventures.