Florida man arrested with cocaine-stuffed Lunchables

Photo: Juanmonino (Getty Images)

Go ahead and add this one to the Florida Man files: two Florida Men were arrested in Ohio in possession of $84,000 worth of cocaine, stowed safely inside a couple of Lunchables boxes.

The Drive reports that the Ohio State Highway Patrol pulled over a rented Ford F-150 because it was cruising down the Ohio Turnpike in a “dangerous manner.” The report notes “excessive speed... and aggressive lane changes,” a particularly bad idea given the excessive amount of cocaine and the aggressively dumb hiding place.

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After ordering the driver to exit the vehicle, the police confiscated a semiautomatic handgun, then searched the truck. That’s when they found a pair of (per The Drive) “suspiciously heavy boxes of Lunchables, which, when opened did not reveal trays of luncheon meat, crackers, and corn syrup.” Instead, it was just coke.

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Oh, how I wish I could tell you the coke was stuffed in the little Lunchables cubbies, but alas, no, just coke. $84,000 worth of coke. In Lunchable boxes.

Questions:

  • Did they eat the Lunchables?
  • Why Lunchables?

I guess that’s all my questions, actually. In related news, a Florida man fought off a coyote with a coffee mug. Happy Thursday!

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About the author

Allison Shoemaker

Contributor, The A.V. Club and The Takeout. Allison loves television, bourbon, and dramatically overanalyzing social interactions.