Go ahead and add this one to the Florida Man files: two Florida Men were arrested in Ohio in possession of $84,000 worth of cocaine, stowed safely inside a couple of Lunchables boxes.
The Drive reports that the Ohio State Highway Patrol pulled over a rented Ford F-150 because it was cruising down the Ohio Turnpike in a “dangerous manner.” The report notes “excessive speed... and aggressive lane changes,” a particularly bad idea given the excessive amount of cocaine and the aggressively dumb hiding place.
After ordering the driver to exit the vehicle, the police confiscated a semiautomatic handgun, then searched the truck. That’s when they found a pair of (per The Drive) “suspiciously heavy boxes of Lunchables, which, when opened did not reveal trays of luncheon meat, crackers, and corn syrup.” Instead, it was just coke.
Oh, how I wish I could tell you the coke was stuffed in the little Lunchables cubbies, but alas, no, just coke. $84,000 worth of coke. In Lunchable boxes.
- Did they eat the Lunchables?
- Why Lunchables?
I guess that’s all my questions, actually. In related news, a Florida man fought off a coyote with a coffee mug. Happy Thursday!