Photo: Kileman (iStock)

Move over Hemingway, because we’ve mastered the short story form in a 14-word headline. Read it again: Naked, drunk, high, Florida man tries baking cookies on George Foreman Grill, starts fire. Retire the trophy, O. Henry Awards, for The Takeout has swept the 2018 contest.

Want more juicy details? There are many. According to the Northwest Florida Daily News, this incident happened last week in a town called Niceville, naturally. It happened when firefighters responded to a house fire, saw smoke coming from inside, and knocked on the door.

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Out emerged a naked man who just responded with “I’m sorry” and closed the door. Sensing this naked man didn’t grasp the danger he was facing, firefighters detained the man for his safety.

The Daily News reported that the incident involved more colorful details: The man admitted to smoking weed and drinking two liters of vodka since 9 a.m. He decided to make cookies, which he attempted on his George Foreman Grill, but that soon caught fire. The naked, drunk, high, Florida man then placed towels on the grill to tamp down flames, but that soon caught fire as well. Firefighters said the naked, drunk, high, Florida man may have died from smoke inhalation if he stayed in house much longer.