This is the aof the winter where everyone gripes about how they wish it was already over. Relax, everyone. Let the cold seep into your bones and become one with the nasty gray snow on the street, because it’s going to be there for a while. Forget about that punk Punxsutawney Phil (yes, I had to Google how to spell that) and breathe deeply, because Shamrock Shake season is right around the bend, McDonald’s has assured us. Look for it on February 15, right after Valentine’s Day.
I am lactose intolerant, and yet I steel my body for these things every year. Brace yourselves, world, for the sound of a slowly deflating balloon coming from my apartment. If you ask nicely, your friendly neighborhood McDonald’s person might in fact allow you to do a half chocolate, half Shamrock Shake (this is my gift to you). I live for those fake green minty shakes.
Just like last year (though I was totally out of the loop about it then), the Shamrock Shake has a friend: the Oreo Shamrock McFlurry. This is a genius combination of Shamrock Shake soft serve with crushed Oreo bits blended in. I’m kicking myself for missing out when it debuted, but looks like I’ll get a chance to have one in 2021, provided the soft serve machines aren’t fuckin’ broken.
I’m currently using my spiritual force to see if I can get all the stars to align, because right now the McRib is still out, Spicy McNuggets have been re-released, three new chicken sandwiches are on the way, and if we can manage to order all those together and wash them down with a Shamrock Shake, I think that the world may find true inner peace.