In his typical renegade fashion, the Bae has chosen to flout all sorts of Los Angeles County public health protocols, like not wearing a mask, and engaging in a little tableside theater, which is currently verboten. But in all fairness, it is technically impossible for Mr. Bae to enter a restaurant without sprinkling salt over everything, and it should certainly be illegal to hide all that sexiness behind a mask. I mean, this is a man who was recently wanted by the Turkish police for allegedly showing his Bae-bits on Instagram “by accident,” and seriously, would the man have over 37 million followers without regularly posting thirst traps like this video of him in a hot tub, or this picture of him standing next to an exceptionally good-looking horse?

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Mr. Bae has already compromised enough by agreeing to wear protective gloves while doing his sultry salt sprinkle, depriving his adoring public of the chance to ogle his well-manicured cuticles. This is a perfect example of governmental overreach, depriving us of our inalienable right to get diseases from celebrities. If a person is willing to drop $275 on a non-gold-plated Nusr-Et steak, they deserve the opportunity to be ravaged by whatever microscopic organisms that live on Salt Bae’s body.