Uh, has anyone checked in on Pepsi lately?

Yellow can of PEPSI X PEEPS surrounded by yellow PEEPS
Graphic: PepsiCo (Getty Images)

What in the fresh hell is going on at Pepsi HQ? Less than a week ago, we reported on Pepsi Mango, the first permanent addition to Pepsi’s flavored cola canon in five years. And just this morning, The Takeout received a press release introducing PEPSI x PEEPS®, a springy and terrifying collab that “combines the crisp, refreshing taste of PEPSI cola with the pillowy-soft and sweet PEEPS® Marshmallow flavor consumers love.” The new flavor comes in three 7.5-ounce mini-cans in bright yellow, pink, and blue, and it’s only available via Pepsi’s #HangingWithMyPEEPS (oh, boy) national sweepstakes.

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Peep-infused Pepsi is the latest in a bizarre string of Pepsi innovations, which we’ve reported on over the course of the last six months. At this point, it seems like Pepsi’s marketing execs accidentally locked themselves in a conference room with a bunch of flavor scientists. Maybe they’ve had to subsist on nothing but Pepsi for six months, leaving them to gnash their teeth and tear their lab coats while they scream out new flavor possibilities in a sugary stupor. Please, someone, let them out! In the meantime, here’s a brief history of the Pepsi stunts we’ve seen during the last year:

  • Pepsi Mango: The aforementioned Pepsi Mango, now available on store shelves, supposedly combines the “bright citrus and rich caramel notes of an ice-cold Pepsi” with the “ripe, juicy flavors that make mango so irresistible.”
  • Pepsi “Cocoa” Cola: Pepsi released this terror during the holiday season, marketing it a “delicious twist on nostalgia and strikes just the right blend of cocoa and Pepsi cola.”
  • Pepsi Spa Kit: The brand dropped this cola-scented spa kit at the beginning of the holiday season, encouraging fans to “calm the senses” with an exfoliating Pepsi sugar scrub, refreshing Pepsi Blue face mask, and a fizzy Pepsi-scented bath bomb.
  • Pepsi Apple Pie: Released in early November, Pepsi Apple Pie was said to “invoke a sense of comfort and nostalgia with warm notes of cinnamon, the taste of a buttery crust, and the crispness of a fresh apple.” Admittedly, this one tasted really good. (The Takeout was lucky enough to score a shipment.)

What’s next, Pepsi? We dipping into the savory realm or what? We doing a PEPSI x SARA LEE ROAST BEEF collab? Watch this space, but also, please free the poor Pepsi marketing team.

Staff writer @ The Takeout, joke writer elsewhere. Wrangling dogs and pork shoulder in Chicago.

DISCUSSION

Dr Emilio Lizardo

“PEEPSI” was right there....