Update, March 9, 2020: Now we’ve got fried chicken footwear, doughnut athletic wear, and whatever you choose to call Wingstop’s latest promotion (one man’s gimmick is another man’s Clio Award). The fast casual chain announced in a press release that it will begin paying fans to wear free branded gear that bills itself transparently as an advertisement for Wingstop. The concept is called Wearable Billboards, and while everything else we’ve talked about in this article thus far has basically been a wearable billboard in its own right, you have to pay good money for those items. In this case, Wingstop is paying the wearers.
If you’re not interested in siphoning Wingstop’s billboard budget, you can stop reading now. Meanwhile, if this sounds like just the sort of irony to whet your appetite, head to wingstopwearablebillboards.com to claim your sweatshirt. Once you receive it, post a picture of yourself in the sweatshirt, tag @Wingstop, and include #ThisIsAnAdForWingstop in the caption. You will then be sent $10 via Venmo for your trouble. Optional next step: Keep us posted on what you actually do with that sweatshirt after you get paid to wear it. Does it get donated? Does it find new life inside your gym bag? Extra dog bedding? These are the real questions.
Update, March 3, 2020: Crocs are the blank canvas of the footwear world—setting aside, of course, the actual blank canvas of Converse and Vans. Crocs are customizable in a way that doesn’t even require elaborate printing setups like a pair of In-N-Out Burger drink cup shoes might, or the specialty stitching on the back of a Dunkin’ track jacket: you just plunk various baubles right into the ventilation holes. And Peeps is currently collaborating with Crocs to plunk some serious baubles down into those holes.
Terence Reilly, chief marketing officer at Crocs, perhaps said it best in the company’s press release: “We’re thrilled to be chillin’ with our PEEPS® this season in a bright and colorful clog that’s sure to be our sweetest creation yet.” (How do you think Reilly pronounced that registered trademark symbol? I’m guessing it’s something like rrrrggghhhh.)
The special edition Crocs start at $49.99, or you can purchase the individual chick and bunny Jibbitz charms for $3.99 each. I recommend going for the bunnies, because they’re flatter and face up. The chicks might be hard to identify unless you’re looking at them from ground level. Which you very well might be if you see these out in the wild and their majesty sweeps you right off your feet.
Update, February 12, 2020: Donuts and burgers? Bah! The gauntlet has been thrown—by fried chicken. KFC has unveiled its own collaborative fashion statement, the Kentucky Fried Chicken X Crocs Bucket Clog.
The shoes will be available for purchase sometime in Spring 2020 (release date TBD) for $59.99. Not convinced? Well, the strangest among you might be swayed by this: The fried chicken drumstick Jibbitz charm on each shoe is made to smell like fried chicken. A unique addition to any closet, surely.
Original post, February 6, 2020: It’s been six whole weeks since the post-Christmas sales and since you had an excuse to buy new clothes. But now two fast food brands want to help separate you from even more of your hard-earned money. Come on, you know you want to.
First up: In-N-Out Burger’s drink cup shoes. Yes, it’s true In-N-Out is unavailable throughout most of the country. But the people who have it talk about it so much—maybe because so many of them live in Southern California—that everybody knows enough about it to lie and agree that Animal Style is totally the best, even if they can’t name any ingredients off the top of their heads. (There’s a burger patty in there, right? And a bun?) And for a mere $64.95 (plus tax and shipping), these canvas slip-ons can be yours!
Next: a new streetwear collection based on a three-way collaboration between Dunkin’, Beyond Meat, and former Dunkin’ Employee of the Month Snoop Dogg. Beyond contributed the bright green color scheme, Dunkin’ the doughnut iconography, and Snoop Dogg the slogan “Glazzzed for Days.” (Think a certain kind of herb that makes you want to eat a lot after you smoke it.) Prices range from $20 (for a T-shirt or a beanie) to $85 (for a whole tracksuit).
Truly, if you combined all these items into a single outfit, it would be a perfect emblem of our times.