In final act in office, Trump accidentally put sanctions on a pizzeria in Italy

three neapolitan pizzas on a table
Photo: Roberto Serra/Iguana Press / Stringer (Getty Images)

The Trump administration, known specifically for its competence, accidentally imposed sanctions on a graphic design studio and an Italian pizzeria before the neon orange creature, Trump himself, left office. Business Insider has the scoop on one of his last, if not final, fuckups in office.


On his last day in office, Trump ordered that sanctions be slapped onto a network of Venezuelan oil firms and individuals associated with a state-owned company known as Petroleos de Venezuela. One of the individuals named is the sanction is named Alessandro Bazzoni, and you can probably guess where this is headed.

Alessandro Bazzoni, who owns SeriGraphicLab in Sardinia, Italy, told The Guardian that he had been blacklisted by the US Department of the Treasury, although he declined to comment further. And the same thing happened to a pizzeria owner, again named Alessandro Bazzoni, in the Italian city of Verona.

Pizzeria Bazzoni (not graphic designer Bazzoni) told his local newspaper, Corriere della Sera, “When I heard that my current accounts had been blocked, I thought it was a joke.” But nobody was joshin’ Bazzoni, because it was the real deal. “These are already difficult times for us restaurant owners,” he said. “The last thing I needed was to have my accounts blocked.” While he hasn’t received an apology, his name has been removed from the sanctions list.

“I thank the new American government for the efficiency with which it intervened,” Bazzoni told the newspaper.

And this is not the only injustice against pizza our former president has committed; I would just like to remind you that Trump doesn’t eat pizza, he just scrapes all the toppings off and eats those, which is exactly something an overgrown toddler does when he becomes a big boy and gets to do big boy things and set things like international policies.


Brick HardMeat

Remove politics from the equation. Imagine you don’t care about big government vs small government, or tax policy, or even notions of freedom, equality, compassion, etc.

From a pure competence perspective - from answers to questions like “Can this person get the job done?”, “Is there anything in this person’s past that suggests they can successfully lead a major project or that they might fail spectacularly?”, or even “Is this person functional, on a basic, fundamental level i.e. can you picture them figuring out a bus schedule and taking themselves to the zoo, or getting themselves to the store to purchase groceries?” - Trump fails on any sane measure.

The man is not capable of “work”. He cannot do things. He is deficient. His brain is bad. It is not a good brain. It is a bad brain. Bad brain + small hands = no good worker.

His election to the oval office was the greatest lowering of the bar in the history of objective metrics. And that so many - more! - opted to re-elect him....

It is like a nation of racist morons saw the election of a Black man and said “well if we can’t go back in time and deny him the presidency, the best thing we can do is make it so that winning the presidency won’t seem like such a great accomplishment or that difficult or a job to do. We will find the laziest, dumbest, most self-serving sack of morally bankrupt shit we can find, and cram him into office. Then people will say being president isn’t really that big a deal.”

Anytime I learn someone voted for Trump, my estimation of their effectiveness - not their character or moral fiber but their objective ability to make decisions that will lead to favorable outcomes - plummets.