We Can't Stop Looking At These Ridiculous TGI Fridays Burgers

In an era where the delectably simple smash burger reigns supreme, TGI Fridays is not only heading in a different direction, but taking its burgers into a whole different stratosphere. Behold, the restaurant chain's newly announced lineup of Big AF Burgers, which are not only as massive as the name would suggest, but also crowned with entire appetizers on top of the bun "so guests never have to choose."

The press release is careful to remind us of just how big the Big AF burgers are (answer: big AF). Descriptors of these elaborately dressed 6-oz. burger patties include "incredibly thick," "bigger than ever," and "as immense as they are irresistible." Each burger comes with your choice of a double order of fries or Southwest Potato Twists. And that's all before we even get to the pièce de résistance: the entire appetizer plopped on top of each burger. Here's what you need to know, with emphasis added:

• Southwest Tornado Twists Burger: Features queso, mixed cheeses, pico de gallo, lettuce, and spicy aioli, with Southwest Potato Twists both on the side and shoved in the burger (please note that the Southwest Tornado Twists Burger is as normal as things get on this menu)
• Nashville Hot Chicken with Fries: A chicken sandwich that features Nashville Hot sauce, Ranch, bacon, pickled jalapeños, and cabbage, with fries on the side and five onion rings on top (this is mostly notable because of how precarious it must be to ferry across a restaurant dining room; my thoughts go out to Fridays servers and runners)
• Buffalo Wingman Burger: Includes pimento bleu cheese spread, Frank's RedHot, spicy aioli, fresh lettuce, tomato, and onion, with two bone-in Buffalo Wings on top (skewering a toothpick through a maze of drum and flat bones and securing them in a pillow-soft burger bun sounds like it'll take some skilled execution!)
• Fridays Signature Whiskey-Glaze Blaze Burger: Features bacon, cheddar, spicy aioli, jalapeños, lettuce, tomato, and onion, topped with whiskey-glazed ribs (I am constantly saying that my burger could use more sticky-sweet rib meat)
• Philly Cheesesteak Burger: Burger patty topped with roast beef, queso, bell peppers, onions, and pickles combined with melted cheese, and the bun is skewered with Philly Cheesesteak Egg Roll (I cannot and will not stop staring at the above photo of a burger topped with two egg roll halves—a perfect image)

The result is a series of dishes that look downright satirical, skewering American excess in much the same way that five Cajun-spiced onion rings are skewered atop the Nashville Hot Chicken. Had this menu been announced just one week earlier, we would have assumed a follow-up press release titled "April Fools!"

That said, none of these burgers sound un-delicious—they just sound like a lot. And that's exactly what the Big AF burgers aim to be. It's pretty much a prix fixe meal on a plate. These burgers will be available now through June 5, in case you're curious to taste one of these monsters for yourself.

Really, I should be thanking TGI Fridays. It's not often that a press release keeps me laughing all week long. The only thing I'm worried about are the wooden boards upon which these burgers appear to be served. TGI Fridays had better serve up these beasts on an actual plate, or else the restaurant will incur the wrath of Reddit.