Illustration for article titled The Steak-umm Twitter account is one long postmodern soliloquy you can’t ignore
Screenshot: Steak-Umm (YouTube)

In a world that has gone completely verkakte, you can always count on Steak-umm to make things weird for everybody. If you’re on Twitter and have a love of both philosophy and frozen beef sheets, you might already be familiar with Steak-umm’s deep thoughts on music, millennial ennui, unity in the face of a humanitarian crisis, the spread of “fake news,” and whatever the hell this was. Almost two months ago, they tweeted what appeared to be a non sequitur:

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Almost one month ago, as the coronavirus pandemic began to alter American life, Steak-umm stepped up to the plate to become a true leader:

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Then, last night, America’s preeminent beef sheets/thought leader... subtweeted the president of the United States of America.

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This is a real news story in the year 2020, when we were supposed to have flying cars and ray guns and treadmills for dogs. When I was a little girl, I dreamed about becoming a lawyer-slash-paranormal activity investigator, or novelty pillow manufacturer. But here I am, sitting on my couch in my pajamas in the midst of a pandemic looking into a 100% legitimate feud that’s brewing between a world leader and Steak-umm. If I could go back in time and warn my five-year-old self what was going to become of her, she would not believe (or even be able to decipher) any of the words coming out of my mouth.

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Anyway, I’ve got absolutely nothing to say about this, because my brain is officially broken. I’ll let Steak-umm wrap this one up for me:

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Allison Robicelli is The Takeout staff writer, a former professional chef, author of three books, and The People's Hot Pocket Princess. Questions about recipes/need cooking advice? Tweet @Robicellis.

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