The Steak-Umm Twitter Account Is One Long Postmodern Soliloquy You Can't Ignore
In a world that has gone completely verkakte, you can always count on Steak-umm to make things weird for everybody. If you're on Twitter and have a love of both philosophy and frozen beef sheets, you might already be familiar with Steak-umm's deep thoughts on music, millennial ennui, unity in the face of a humanitarian crisis, the spread of "fake news," and whatever the hell this was. Almost two months ago, they tweeted what appeared to be a non sequitur:
the time of corporate twitter accounts is over
the time of government twitter accounts is beginning
— Steak-umm (@steak_umm) February 11, 2020
Almost one month ago, as the coronavirus pandemic began to alter American life, Steak-umm stepped up to the plate to become a true leader:
yes we are a frozen meat company and yes this PSA will inevitably function as a form of PR, so please don't get attached to it as a personified corporate advertisement
just use the platform you have to spread credible information and compassion to others in these chaotic times
— Steak-umm (@steak_umm) March 16, 2020
Then, last night, America's preeminent beef sheets/thought leader... subtweeted the president of the United States of America.
friendly reminder in times of uncertainty and misinformation: anecdotes are not data. (good) data is carefully measured and collected information based on a range of subject-dependent factors, including, but not limited to, controlled variables, meta-analysis, and randomization
— Steak-umm (@steak_umm) April 7, 2020
it can be difficult to know what to believe in a time when institutional trust is diminished and the gatekeepers of information have been dismantled, but it's more crucial now than ever before to follow a range of credentialed sources for both breaking news and data collection
— Steak-umm (@steak_umm) April 7, 2020
breaking news and storytelling will always be spun with interpretive bias from different media perspectives, but data is a science that can't be replaced by one-off anecdotes. try to remember this to avoid fear-based sensationalism or conspiracy theories taking over your mind
— Steak-umm (@steak_umm) April 7, 2020
we're a frozen meat brand posting ads inevitably made to misdirect people and generate sales, so this is peak irony, but hey we live in a society so please make informed decisions to the best of your ability and don't let anecdotes dictate your worldview ok
steak-umm bless
— Steak-umm (@steak_umm) April 7, 2020
This is a real news story in the year 2020, when we were supposed to have flying cars and ray guns and treadmills for dogs. When I was a little girl, I dreamed about becoming a lawyer-slash-paranormal activity investigator, or novelty pillow manufacturer. But here I am, sitting on my couch in my pajamas in the midst of a pandemic looking into a 100% legitimate feud that's brewing between a world leader and Steak-umm. If I could go back in time and warn my five-year-old self what was going to become of her, she would not believe (or even be able to decipher) any of the words coming out of my mouth.
Anyway, I've got absolutely nothing to say about this, because my brain is officially broken. I'll let Steak-umm wrap this one up for me: