Update, May 18, 2021: Some parts of the saga of Edward, the Starbucks customer who ordered a Venti Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino with 13 customizations, and Josie, the barista who tweeted his order and made him infamous, have concluded exactly as you may have suspected they would: Josie got fired and copycats around the country started tormenting baristas by ordering their own “Edwards.”
But there is still a sort of happy ending to this whole thing. Inside Edition engineered a reunion between Josie and Edward, where they hugged it out and settled their differences. Actually, that’s not entirely true: they greeted each other with a dudely handclasp/hug hybrid and a fist bump. Josie appeared to have no animosity over the loss of his job (to be fair, he’d tweeted that the order made him want to quit anyway), and Edward had no resentment over his internet notoriety. Instead, they toasted the Edward together, Josie with what looked like green tea and Edward with an Edward, naturally. It was also revealed that Edward was aware of the labor involved in making an Edward and had tipped $5. And so there was peace throughout the land. It was actually quite sweet, and I hope Josie finds another job again soon.
As a bonus, a barista at an independent L.A. coffee shop demonstrated the preparation of an Edward to the Inside Edition crew. In case you’re wondering, it is possible to fit five bananas into a Starbucks cup if you run them through the blender first.
Original post, May 6, 2021: Last Saturday, Twitter was set ablaze by a photo of an utterly ridiculous Starbucks order by a gentleman named “Edward,” though we cannot be positive is his real name. I know if I ordered a drink like this, I would definitely use a pseudonym as to not die from embarrassment, and also to keep my name out of the mouth of the poor barista who was forced to make it, as they would have every right to put an curse on me and my household. Lest you think no order could warrant the evil eye, you may want to sit down before you attempt to take this in:
Venti Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino with five bananas, extra caramel drizzle, extra whipped cream, extra ice, extra Cinnamon Dolce Sprinkles, seven pumps of Dark Caramel Sauce, extra Caramel Crunch Topping, one pump Honey Blend, extra Salted Butter Topping, five pumps of Frappuccino Roast, and seven Frappuccino Chips, made with heavy cream and double-blended.
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I would like to assume this order was a joke, because if you’re serious about fitting five bananas into a cup, you’d order a Trenta. Alas, I think it was sincere, because I cannot count the number of times I have been been stuck in line at Starbucks behind a person placing a preposterous order that took a solid 60 seconds to recite.
Miraculously, the barista who tweeted this liquid monstrosity managed to fit it all into a single cup, which should make him Starbucks’ employee of the year. Instead, this master of barista-ing, who goes by @ProjectJosiee, deleted his viral tweet, and his employer sent a statement to Fox News in support of this “Edward” character.
“Customizing beverages at Starbucks and our baristas’ expertise in helping customers find and craft the right beverage has and always will be the heart of the Starbucks Experience,” the statement read. “There are many ways for customers to modify their favorite beverage at Starbucks and most customizations are reasonable requests from customers.”
Though Starbucks has now made it abundantly clear that orders like this are A-OK, I pray that this sort of malarkey will not be normalized, as I have many barista friends who do not deserve to be brought to the brink of insanity for any beverage with more than five modifiers. (And even that is pushing it.) Please join me in sending your thoughts and prayers to all the hardworking Starbucks baristas around the world, because if this five banana nonsense catches on, they’re going to need it.