Last Call: What’s the most complicated thing you’ve ever ordered at Starbucks?

Illustration for article titled Last Call: What’s the most complicated thing you’ve ever ordered at Starbucks?
Photo: Jeff Greenberg (Getty Images)

On Saturday evening, a barista named Josie posted an extra-special order from an extra-special customer named Edward on Twitter: a Venti Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino with five bananas, extra caramel drizzle, extra whipped cream, extra ice, extra Cinnamon Dolce Sprinkles, seven pumps of Dark Caramel Sauce, extra Caramel Crunch Topping, one pump Honey Blend, extra Salted Butter Topping, five pumps of Frappuccino Roast, and seven Frappuccino Chips, made with heavy cream and double-blended. Amazingly, this monstrosity falls short of Starbucks’ 20-modification limit (even if you count each banana separately) and it costs less than $7, since all the extras besides the Frappuccino Chips and Honey Blend are free. It makes me a bit sad that Starbucks’ once-legendary order call system no longer exists, because this would have been a doozy to hear.

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Edward’s order hit a nerve on Twitter: Josie’s tweet, as of this morning, had nearly 230,000 likes and baristas and bartenders lining up to share stories of their most ridiculous orders. These include an iced Americano with six different kinds of milk, seven different sweeteners, eight pumps of syrup... and light ice; a trenta green tea with 35 pumps of sugar and no water; the woman who insisted that her drink be heated to precisely 37 degrees Celsius; and the customer who demanded an entire bottle of caramel sauce in a Frappuccino. The Starbucks life is a wild ride, my friends.

The Salty Waitress opined long ago on why ordering ridiculous customized drinks is an annoyance not only to baristas but also to one’s fellow customers, and this thread is proof that this advice still stands. Though of course there were also the people who argued that if a person is not willing to accommodate special orders, they should not be working at a place that makes specialty drinks. (These people have clearly never worked in customer service.)

What is the most complicated drink you have ever ordered or seen ordered at a Starbucks? And also (this is mostly to satisfy my own personal curiosity), what do you think Edward’s drink tasted like?

Associate editor of The Takeout. Chicagoan. Owned by dog.

DISCUSSION

simulord
SimuLord

A “lahge coffee regulah, like champions drink”, which I ordered from a Seattle Starbucks in the thickest bawn-n’-raised-in-Boston accent my wicked awesome voice could mustah.

“You mean a grande? A venti?” To which I replied. “Wicked lahge. You figyah it out.” (I got a venti. And of course, because Starbucks, I had to add the cream and sugar myself.)

I should mention this was the day after the Patriots beat the Seahawks in the Super Bowl because Pete Carroll couldn’t just send Marshawn Lynch up the middle from the 1.

I got a LOT of dirty looks, but nobody seemed like they wanted to throw hands. They’d probably seen all the gritty action-drama movies where the guy with the thick Boston accent beats the shit out of people.

Years later, it still remains one of the funniest moments I’ve ever had in nearly eight years living in the PNW.

And it’s also the answer to the question in the headline. I drink coffee. None of that fancy shit.