Cheeky crossovers between retail brands and fast food restaurants (such as the Supreme Oreos and all the ridiculous items we got so freaking many press releases about in December) have reached a bit of a fever pitch. In fact, we decided to compile a running list of these promotions to make it easier for you to keep up to date on all the latest advancements in branded nonsense technology. But though I’ve grown tired of most collaborations, there are still some that manage to excite me. Take, for instance, the article I wrote last week about a crossover between Pizza Hut and, of all places, IKEA. Who knew IKEA was down to collab with Pizza Hut? Who knew that we all secretly desired a pizza covered in Swedish meatballs? Of course, this all-around good time is only happening in Hong Kong, because during the course of their collaboration, both brands decided to keep this glorious creation as far away from me as possible to drive me to my wits’ end. I am taking this snub personally, so for the past week I have been very, very angry at my MÖRBYLÅNGA table and have stopped using coasters to teach it a lesson.
As with most of these PR stunts, I figured this collaboration was one and done—I mean, it’s pretty easy for IKEA to ship a few pallets of frozen meatballs to Pizza Hut and call it a day. But by the beard of Zeus, this is not over! This crossover goes both ways, and good GODMORGON, it’s glorious!
Your eyes are not deceiving you: IKEA has made a human-sized version of the little plastic table that comes in the middle of pizzas. I mean, I honestly don’t even know what to say right now. It’s so beautiful, I am rendered speechless. When I learned from Marketing that the table comes flat packed in a pizza box, I teared up a little bit.
Of course, I can’t get a table because, like the Swedish meatball pizza, it’s only available in Hong Kong. But maybe, just maybe, it will one day be available in America. Perhaps it will happen once my MÖRBYLÅNGA is completely covered in circular coffee stains. Perhaps I am the firestarter of dining tables.