Photo: Raj K Raj (Hindustan Times via Getty Images)

Yes, we know that PETA has a tendency to go over the top in its fervent quest for animal rights, like this recent article saying that eating eggs is anti-feminist, or this old campaign linking milk consumption to autism. And yesterday the organization tweeted out a list of common sayings that should be revised because “words matter.” Almost immediately slammed by many, PETA then encouraged the haters to “lighten up and use language in a way that encourages being kind to animals” [heart-eyes emoji]:

And maybe PETA is on to something, as academic researcher Shareena Z. Hamzah, postdoctoral researcher at Swansea University in Wales, predicts: “Given that fiction often reflects on real world events and societal issues… it may very well be that down the line powerful meat metaphors are eschewed.”

Then again, maybe not. We’re not so keen when a well-meaning but didactic group suggests we change our behavior. So The Takeout is starting a counter-campaign: Let’s change our idioms to be more animal-related! Our humble suggestions, for starters:

1. A bird in the hand is worth two in my stomach

2. Have a cow, man

3. The benefit of the trout

4. A penny for your brats

5. Chip off the old hock

Surely there are more important efforts for PETA to rally against than phrases like “bringing home the bacon”? (Which, sorry, is definitely more delicious than bagels. Or you could combine the two into a delicious breakfast sandwich.) Ah well, every hog has its day, as they say.

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