Papa John’s is offering a “new” and “improved” pineapple pizza

Papa John’s courier bike boxes in London
Papa John’s courier bike boxes in London
Photo: Mike Kemp/In Pictures (Getty Images)

“Better ingredients, better pizza, Papa John’s.” In the recesses of your mind, you can still hear those immortal words being robotically rattled off by founder and ex-CEO John Schnatter at the tail end of a zillion TV and radio commercials, can’t you? Well, in spite of all that has plagued the brand in recent years—such as Papa John himself—Papa John’s is committed to its promise of “better ingredients,” and so it has teamed up with Dole, a fruit company, to produce a new and improved pineapple pizza, an item that is not controversial in the slightest.

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Papa John’s Super Hawaiian Pizza
Papa John’s Super Hawaiian Pizza
Photo: Business Wire (Fair Use)

“At Papa John’s we believe that pineapple belongs on pizza,” Paul Fabre, SVP of Product Innovation at Papa John’s, announced in a press release about the launch of the new Papa John’s Super Hawaiian Pizza, and we sincerely hope he’s ready for the flame war he has invited. Rubbing salt in the wound of those who can’t even hear about fruit-topped pizzas without veins popping out of their foreheads, Fabre adds that pineapple “brings a rich sweetness to our pies.” Do you need a cold compress yet?

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Here’s the full description of the revamped pizza; you’ll notice that the language is a little convoluted, presumably because the company is so eager to demonstrate its “better ingredients” at all stages of the process:

Papa John’s Super Hawaiian Pizza offers a taste of the tropics, loaded with sweet, juicy DOLE Pineapple tidbits, julienne-cut Canadian bacon, hickory-smoked bacon, a three-cheese blend, and real cheese made from mozzarella on Papa John’s signature sauce and original fresh, never-frozen six-ingredient dough.

Now’s the time when we must ask our readers: Would you eat this? Will you order it from Papa John’s? Are any holdouts suddenly convinced of the merits of pineapple pizza thanks to the involvement of Dole?

Marnie Shure is editor in chief of The Takeout.

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DISCUSSION

murrychang
Murry Chang

“a three-cheese blend, and real cheese made from mozzarella”

This phrasing does not inspire confidence in the quality of their cheese...