If there’s anything I have learned during these past few difficult and troubled years, it’s that even when people agree, in theory, they actually disagree. There is always some little nuance to pick at and fight over. A prime example: Oreos.
We all like Oreos. That’s indisputable. But ever since Oreo started giving us a choice of flavors and ratios of creme to cookie, they’ve been a subject of intense debate. Just last night I got into a barroom argument—a friendly argument, but still—about how much creme makes a good Oreo. I prefer the original myself, or the Thins because they come in better flavors and you can eat an entire package of them while standing on a train platform without feeling like a complete monster (not that I have ever done this). But, my opponent declared that Original doesn’t have enough creme, Double Stuf has too much cream, and there really should be some sort of middle ground.
(Quick digression: I just learned from consulting the Oreo Fact Sheet that 50% of Oreo eaters pull their cookies apart before eating them, though women are more inclined to go for the twist motion. My question is: who are you people who eat an Oreo that is not a Thin whole? What happened to you that led you to make such poor life choices?)
Anyway, in honor of the January 20 return of the Oreo Most Stuf, which has the most, uh, “stuf” of all Oreos ever made by Oreo (although of course The Takeout has topped it), Oreo has decided to capitalize on the national debate and has asked us all to vote on our preferred level of “stuf.” As inducement, voters get entered into a sweepstakes with a $100,000 prize, among other stuf (geddit)? Oreo will also be touring the country—which, to them, means only New York, LA, and Atlanta—with a giant Oreo slide, which does sound a lot more fun than a tour of the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. May the best creme (by which I mean Original) win.