Photo: RuthBlack (iStock)

In this, the year of our lord two-thousand and eighteen, we as residents of these United States wanted four things:

  • To be whimsical
  • To not get E. coli
  • To lose weight by eating fewer carbs and more fat
  • To chill the fuck out

We know this because Google, purveyor of very speedy search results, has released the most-Googled terms of 2018 in several categories. The results reveal that users in the U.S. searched for “unicorn cake” more than any other food term. Here’s the top 10 in full. First thoughts: Wow, y’all really like keto, huh?

  1. Unicorn cake
  2. Romaine lettuce
  3. CBD gummies
  4. Keto pancakes
  5. Keto cheesecake
  6. Necco Wafers
  7. Keto cookies
  8. Keto chili
  9. Keto brownies
  10. Gochujang

Keto was also the most searched-for term in the diet category, followed by Dubrow diet, Noom diet, carnivore diet, and Mediterranean diet.

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It’s been a rough year. I totally understand wanting to brighten up your life with a stupid, perfect unicorn treat, and I certainly get why CBD gummies (that’s cannabidiol, for those not in the know) would appeal. But holy cow, keto dieters, you are just dying for dessert. Perhaps this particular approach to eating isn’t for you?