I was not given many sugary cereals as a child, which has caused some major FOMO in my adult life. When everyone was going gaga over cereal milk and Fruity Pebble–covered “unicorn poop” doughnuts, I was left out in the cold, praying that the zeitgeist would turn its gaze to more sensible things like cornflakes and Grape-Nuts. I mean, cornflakes are a perfect cereal! Why does anyone feel the need to “improve” them with massive amounts of sugar? Then you can’t taste the cornflake!
This week The Takeout read a press release for Kellogg’s MASHUPS Cereal, which is a box of Frosted Flakes and Froot Loops packaged together in the same bag. I cannot muster any enthusiasm for this, as Frosted Flakes taste terrible to me, and I have never once tried a Froot Loop because they can’t spell “fruit” right and I’ve got a strong suspicion that toucans are total dicks in real life. But we’re all allowed to enjoy different things, so if sugary cereal is your jam, you no longer have to choose between buying Frosted Flakes or Froot Loops. What a time to be alive!
Though I am not excited for the cereal, I am very excited about this “two cereals, one box” thing that Kellogg’s has put forth. Maybe now is the time for me to sell everyone on my CornGrapes idea! What about you cereal connoisseurs out there? What flavor combinations should the rest of us purchase two different boxes to try for ourselves?