Update, February 12, 2020: Donuts and burgers? Bah! The gauntlet has been thrown—by fried chicken. KFC has unveiled its own collaborative fashion statement, the Kentucky Fried Chicken X Crocs Bucket Clog.
The shoes will be available for purchase sometime in Spring 2020 (release date TBD) for $59.99. Not convinced? Well, the strangest among you might be swayed by this: The fried chicken drumstick Jibbitz charm on each shoe is made to smell like fried chicken. A unique addition to any closet, surely.
Original post, February 6, 2020: It’s been six whole weeks since the post-Christmas sales and since you had an excuse to buy new clothes. But now two fast food brands want to help separate you from even more of your hard-earned money. Come on, you know you want to.
First up: In-N-Out Burger’s drink cup shoes. Yes, it’s true In-N-Out is unavailable throughout most of the country. But the people who have it talk about it so much—maybe because so many of them live in Southern California—that everybody knows enough about it to lie and agree that Animal Style is totally the best, even if they can’t name any ingredients off the top of their heads. (There’s a burger patty in there, right? And a bun?) And for a mere $64.95 (plus tax and shipping), these canvas slip-ons can be yours!
Next: a new streetwear collection based on a three-way collaboration between Dunkin’, Beyond Meat, and former Dunkin’ Employee of the Month Snoop Dogg. Beyond contributed the bright green color scheme, Dunkin’ the doughnut iconography, and Snoop Dogg the slogan “Glazzzed for Days.” (Think a certain kind of herb that makes you want to eat a lot after you smoke it.) Prices range from $20 (for a T-shirt or a beanie) to $85 (for a whole tracksuit).
Truly, if you combined all these items into a single outfit, it would be a perfect emblem of our times.