It’s been nearly a year since the last season of The Great British Baking Show debuted, and so far there’s been no word on when new episodes will be returning to the screen, or when my legendary GBBO recaps will be returning to the internet to delight and amaze. Until we can once again return to the most exciting PVC tent in the UK, we must satiate our hunger for all things Paul Hollywood with stray pieces of gossip from the British tabloids, and by bringing the GBBO experience into our own home with spectacular bakes.
One thing we do know for sure is that, same as last year, the newest season of The Great British Baking Show was filmed in a bubble, with cast, crew, and contestants locked down in a luxury British hotel for six whole weeks. And if The Sun is to be believed, what a wild six weeks those were! When the en-bubbled weren’t busy sweating in a poorly ventilated tent full of ovens and spotlights under a blazing summer sun, they were knocking down pints at the hotel pub, and the Fab Four themselves were keen to join in on the revelry.
Sources told The Sun that Paul Hollywood, Pure Leith, Matt Lucas, and Noel Fielding could be found at the bar almost nightly, and there are so many reasons to be deeply impressed by that. For one, Prue Leith is 81 years old and still living it up, while I, a woman half her age, spent last night working on my cross-stitch skills while watching a documentary about 18th-century whaling ships. I’m not saying Prue has inspired me to trade my life of sloth and crafts for partying heartily, but I can admit that I respect her for it.
Just like on a cruise ship, there was plenty of entertainment for bubble residents to enjoy, courtesy of the GBBO gents. The Sun writes that Noel “Old Gregg” Fielding and his wife, radio DJ Lliana Bird, put on a miniature “indie festival” of musical acts, Matt Lucas hosted bar trivia, and Paul Hollywood (checks notes)... showed off his skills with nunchucks? Seriously, The Sun mentions “Paul Hollywood” and “nunchucks” in the same sentence, and somehow doesn’t elaborate and/or investigate this earth-shattering revelation.
May I remind our friends in the British press that here in America, we do not care about 90% of your pop culture, but goddamnit, we care about GBBO like we invented it our damn selves. We don’t want any more of your stories about the Royal Family, because not a single one of them has involved nunchucks or soggy bottoms. When something like this happens on British television, you need to alert us immediately: