As we have thoroughly documented, Chuck E. Cheese’s slow demise hasn’t just left a cold, empty space in our hearts and minds, it has also created a power vacuum within with Land of Cheese. Now, with the king all but dead and buried, Chuck’s wartime consiglieri, the animatronic chef Pasqually P. Pieplate, has seized the throne.
According to Restaurant Business, the ghost-kitchen, delivery-only operation that is Pasqually’s Pizza & Wings, which first launched exclusively through Grubhub, has now expanded to Uber Eats and DoorDash and has stated that it is developing new menu items designed for people with “more mature taste preferences.” Those options are currently: a brownie with icing; “Giant Cheesy Bread”; and chicken wings with four “new” flavors (Spicy Korean BBQ, Honey Hot, and Lemon Pepper and Chili Lime dry rubs).
I firmly live by the philosophy of “don’t yuck my yum,” and in line with that I am not prepared to question whether people will find these items delicious. I am, however, very curious about how exactly these menu items were designed for people with “mature taste preferences.” And more importantly, what does that even mean? This phrasing suggests that, conversely, there are immature taste preferences, and that feels weirdly judgmental and limiting. Isn’t pizza, the signature menu item of Chuck E. Cheese locations everywhere, enjoyed by diners of every age?
Plus, where exactly is the line between mature and immature? Wolfgang Puck, a world famous chef often associated with fine dining, is known in part for being the person who introduced the world to BBQ chicken pizza, which he famously topped with supermarket brand KC Masterpiece BBQ sauce. Pasqually, your new menu items are a brownie, breadsticks, and chicken wings. Get off your high horse and hold the judgement.