Burger King Shouldn't Have Even Bothered With These Breakfast Sandwiches

Burger King recently released a new lineup of breakfast sandwiches: Cheesy Breakfast Melts. They come in three varieties (sausage, ham, and bacon) and arrive on a toasted white bun with two slices of American cheese and a scrambled egg patty. The bread is notable because it's the same specialty white bread used by the new-ish Whopper Melt, which debuted earlier this year. Do breakfast melts sound remarkable? Not at all. Which is why I was curious to see why Burger King even bothered coming out with a new line of morning sandwiches.

After sampling all three, I have some thoughts on the full lineup. But before I begin, if you look at the image up top of all three sandwiches, you'll notice that they all look... different. Two are attractively toasted to a nice golden brown, while the third one is nearly as pale as its wrapper. This didn't bode well for at least a third of the menu.

Dennis Lee

Yup. That sad pale sandwich came in third. Out of the three, this one didn't have a trace of color on its bread. It was also the flattest, with the least amount of filling, though I will say, a little bacon does go a fairly long way, so it's better that it wasn't overloaded with the stuff.

All the bacon was lumped in one spot, which meant most of the sandwich was pretty flavorless. The egg patty was just sort of there and relatively unseasoned, while the melted American cheese served as sandwich glue. But not in a bad way; I love American cheese.

I'm actually not here to gripe about the construction of the sandwich. It's fast food. If I wanted something prettier I'd go to my favorite neighborhood cafe for something assembled with care instead of pure speed. I'm a big boy, I can move the guts around on my own. But ugh, that bread.

It'd be one thing if the bread was interesting, with maybe a touch of sourdough, rye, caramel coloring, anything. But nope. When it comes to Burger King's melts, toasting is crucial since it imparts an additional flavor. With that element completely absent, the Bacon Cheesy Breakfast Melt was easily the saddest and the most boring.

This one was a bit of a surprise. I'd assumed that a sausage breakfast sandwich would be my favorite, since I'm a big fan of the Sausage and Egg McMuffin at McDonald's. Overall this Cheesy Breakfast Melt was fine, but nothing you haven't seen before. Spongy sausage, springy egg, cheese, yay. The toasted bread was a clear improvement, but it couldn't really fix a boring sandwich.

McDonald's has a big leg up on Burger King since you can get fresh whole eggs, no matter what sandwich or breakfast platter you get (here's how to order them). Burger King's unseasoned egg squares are pretty flavorless, without a trace of salt, and make me sad. Though it'll never happen, a fresh egg on these sandwiches would go a really long way.

The surprise winner was the Ham Cheesy Breakfast Melt. Ham, really? I know, I'm taken aback too. It sounds boring, but it just worked the best out of the three. The ham narrowly edged out the sausage due to volume; Burger King piled the meat higher on this one, and it was the most substantial out of all the sandwiches.

What made this one stand out was that the ham just had more flavor than both the sausage and the bacon, maybe partially due to the generous portion. But no matter which one you order, it's not an experience you'll find deeply satisfying. I understand that the toasting process can slow things down, and a pale sandwich might mean that the kitchen was dealing with a rush. Totally fair. But even the perfect toasting on two out of the three didn't extend to the bottom bun, which was left pale, and the toasty bread couldn't rescue it from tasting somewhat dry and stale.

You can go ahead and skip all of them. These were pretty pricey for what they were ($4.19 each, after tax), and nowhere near worth that price. In fact, you can probably skip Burger King's breakfast menu altogether.

Being disappointed with a Cheesy Breakfast Melt first thing in the morning isn't a great way to start your day. If you're at BK for breakfast, why not say fuck it and just order a Whopper? Because in many locations, you can do exactly that. My nearest location even says "Burgers For Breakfast" on its letterboard above the restaurant. And order the hash browns, too, because they're adorable little tater circles that are crispy, greasy, and surprisingly good. This will be a superior breakfast, because at least you know what you're getting with a Whopper and won't have to play a game of toast roulette.