Photo: Burger King

Taking stock of the back-and-forth battle to offer more beef, more bacon, more meats on fast-food sandwiches, we fully expect to one day see a chain debut a burger that is actually just an entire cow between two buns. (You heard it here first.) The latest in the war for beef-patty supremacy comes from Burger King, which yesterday rolled out its Big King XL sandwiches at participating locations nationwide.

The burger is comprised of two patties that total more than a half-pound of meat total, plus American cheese, onions, pickles, lettuce and a “special savory sauce” on a toasted sesame bun. In a press release, Burger King squarely takes aim at McDonald’s Big Mac, boasting its Big King XL has 175 percent more beef than that signature burger. (Big King XL patties weigh 8.8 oz. total, which McDonald’s Big Mac patties weigh 3.2 oz. total, per BK.)

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But wait! That’s misleading on BK’s part. Because true, Big King XL is larger—but only when compared to McDonald’s standard Big Mac. The better analog from the Golden Arches should be the Grand Big Mac, which employs McDonald’s quarter-pounder beef patties. At that point, you can make the argument that McDonald’s Grand Big Mac is actually larger, as BK’s eschews the middle bun (called the club, in burger parlance), instead just stacking the two beef patties on top of each other. Can a girl get a napkin up in here? (Notably, Burger King once sold a Big Mac rival/knock-off called the Big King, comparable in size to McDonald’s, though it’s no longer on menus.)

Further pushing the rivalry angle—because that’s all we expect from restaurant brands these days—BK says it will accept customers’ expired MacCoins as payment for Big King XLs. (McDonald’s gave out MacCoins last year for the 50th anniversary of the Big Mac, but they’ve since expired.) Whether BK’s new burger is any good, we’re a bit weary of the way fast-food brands have been constantly trolling each other. We get it, you’re competitors, but the shtick has run its course. Just tell us about the burgers.