Ben & Jerry’s knows its audience and has created the “official” ice cream for our modern lifestyles: Netflix & Chilll’d. It starts with a peanut butter base since we all know that protein-packed peanuts are a good food option to give us the stamina needed to watch 27 episodes of The Office in a row. Next come sweet and salty pretzel swirls and chunks of fudge brownies, because why the hell not. It doesn’t really take a genius to put chocolate, peanut butter, and pretzels together, but do we really need innovation when it comes to something you’re shoveling into your mouth mindlessly while catching up on The Great British Baking Show?
If Ben & Jerry’s wants real innovation, then maybe they should give us gals at The Takeout a call: we’re pop culture obsessives who write damn good recipes, and we’ve already got a laundry list of ideas that will—and I say this without an iota of hyperbole—completely revolutionize the ice cream industry. Here’s a tiny taste of the sort of genius we could bring to you, Ben and Jerry:
S’most: B&J’s original S’mores recipe, filled with 50% more chunks
Plain and Stuffering: Vanilla ice cream swirled with creamy Oreo “stuf”
Cherry Garcia: A flavor honoring veteran actor Andy Garcia
Americone Ninja Warrior: New sponsorship idea for whenever Colbert’s ratings falter
I Blue(berry) Myself: Vanilla ice cream, blueberry swirl, chocolate covered banana chunks
You Don’t Mess With the Conehan: Silky smooth hummus ice cream with a hummus caramel swirl
Cashew Me Outside, Howboudah: Sweet cream ice cream with a cashew butter swirl, toffee chunks, and chopped mixed nuts
Sex Panther: Chocolate ice cream, macadamia nuts, chunks of dead panther
Have any dream flavors of your own? Let us know in the comments.