Photo: William Howard (iStock Editorial / Getty Images Plus)

For a household name, Applebee’s sure seems to get a bum rap. The dine-in staple, one of the more embattled casualties of millennial issues with vacuum-sealed bag food to date, usually tends to be treated by foodies in the same way The Simpsons regarded Arby’s.

Yet the casual eatery isn’t giving up on trying to reclaim the hearts and wallets of diners, especially those who might be suspicious about the notion of Applebee’s staples like $5 steak. After all, if there’s one thing the American Millennial does love, it’s cheap booze, and Applebee’s has been a foremost pioneer in that particular field for some time now.

The latest in Applebee’s monthly series of dollar cocktails is the returning Strawberry Dollarita, but for April 2019, it comes with a new twist: a Twizzler straw. The official press release touting the combo also encourages patrons to enjoy it with “Your Squad”, and includes Applebee’s vice president of beverage innovation Patrick Kirk saying this on the public record:

Sippin’ on a STRAWBERRY DOLLARITA through a strawberry-flavored TWIZZLERS straw is just about the coolest and most exciting way to drink a margarita. No question about it.

The Takeout cannot verify the following as a recent photo of Mr. Kirk, but we’re pretty sure this is correct anyway:

Advertisement

Applebee’s Vice President of Beverage Innovation (maybe)
Photo: Traimak_Ivan (iStock)

No matter where you land on the great Twizzlers-Red Vines debate (or whether you even enjoy licorice at all), we can all agree that the act of drinking sugar through slightly harder sugar with one’s Squad is objectively pretty cool. While everyone’s getting really worked up about straws these days, Applebee’s has the Galaxy Brain to realize that if it’s going to save itself, Squads looking for a night out on the strip mall parking lot are the real way to go.

Also, “As always, Applebee’s reminds you to please drink responsibly.”

Advertisement