Some time ago, I became the Dad Who Makes Too Many Pizzas. Back in March 2020 (for REASONS), I started making pizza every single week to mark the weeks like the Count of Monte Cristo scratching lines on the cell wall. And now, a mere two years that feel like seven years later, I am authentic fake gentry. The ghost of Dennis Farina knighted me in a ceremony and everything. As my reward, I get out of one parking meter ticket per fiscal quarter and get free discarded popcorn after Bulls games. What a life.
But knowledge is nothing without the wherewithal to share it. So please, take these hard-earned lessons from someone who has made hundreds of pizzas and is not particularly quick on the uptake. They’ll save you some time in pursuit of ultimate pizza domination.