Would you truly like to be an Oscar Mayer Wiener(mobile driver)?

Illustration for article titled Would you truly like to be an Oscar Mayer Wiener(mobile driver)?
Photo: Oscar Mayer

If you’re a recent college graduate who loves driving, puns, and tube-shaped meat, your dream job may be on the horizon: Oscar Mayer is looking for a brand new team of “Hotdoggers” to drive its fleet of Wienermobiles around the U.S.A. Do you have any idea how excited people get when they see a Wienermobile? Can you imagine the sort of love and affection that is constantly showered upon this lucky brigade of twentysomethings? This is the sort of job that can set the tone for your entire life! Or it could give you unrealistic expectations of what adulthood is supposed to be like. The gig only lasts one year, and once it’s up, you’ll need to face the cruel reality that you can’t make everyone happy just by handing them a Wiener Whistle (though it certainly helps).

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Hotdoggers are far more than just drivers—they are nobility with nitrates, an elite class that swears to represent Oscar Mayer with honor and dignity. According to the company, the job requires attending media appearances, charity functions, and celebrations of all kinds, where they’ll “bring unexpected excitement” with their winning personality and a hot dog on wheels. All Hotdoggers will be put through a two-week intensive training program at the elite Hot Dog High, which will teach them how to be perpetually perky, and how to navigate a 27-foot motorized hot dog through the streets without sideswiping double-parked cars, taking out lampposts with poorly executed turns, or accidentally running it through the front window of a McDonald’s. (If the cold war between hot dogs and burgers heats up, nobody wins.)

Candidates should be recent college graduates—preferably ones with bachelor’s degrees in PR, journalism, communications, or marketing—and have a deep love for hot dog puns. If you need help crafting the perfect application, Oscar Mayer alum Robin Gelfenbein has some helpful hints that can make your CV sparkle:

To apply, send a resume and cover letter to Oscar Mayer before January 31. Good luck to the future Hotdoggers of the world!

Allison Robicelli is a writer, recipe czar, former professional chef, author of four (quite good) books, and The People's Hot Pocket Princess. Tweet me for recipe help: @Robicellis.

DISCUSSION

bigjojobongo
bigjojobongo

Other qualifications they may not say directly:

1) you must be in decent shape. No one wants a chubby hot dogger.

2) No smoking

3) No unusual hair styles.

4) No tats or piercings

5) no drinking or going to bars while on the road

6) no sleeping around with your fellow hot doggers or the groupies (and yes there are groupies)

This info is from 2002 so take it with a grain of salt.