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Last Call: Moving beyond cake fails to Cakes With Threatening Auras

A cake facing an air gun at point-blank range
A cake under threat
Photo: Christopher Ames (Getty Images)
Last CallLast CallLast Call is The Takeout’s online watering hole where you can chat, share recipes, and use the comment section as an open thread. Here’s what we’ve been reading/watching/listening around the office today.

There is one advantage cake always has over pie, and that is frosting and all the decorating opportunities it presents. It’s so much easier to construct a cake that looks like a Croc or a roll of toilet paper than it is to make a pie look like anything other than, well, a pie. There’s also much greater opportunity for entertaining cake fails. A pie fail is just sad.

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But now, in this age of dread, we have moved beyond cake fails to Cakes With Threatening Auras. This Twitter feed was launched on January 2, so maybe the person behind it had an inkling of the threatening aura that would become a thick miasma that would swallow all of 2020. Or maybe it was just coincidence. Anyway, that first post showed a cake bearing the image of an angry-looking Yoda brandishing a lightsaber and the message “May Divorce Be With You!!!” Pretty celebratory, no?

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Since then, the Twitter account, which has also expanded to Instagram, has collected photos of cakes that, either by design or by accident, look threatening (though the curator has specified no more dick cakes). We have cakes bearing the images of angry cartoon characters (many from Shrek or The Simpsons), passive-aggressive messages (“Happy Birthday, Eric! Turning 30 makes you like 30% more awesome”), sincere apologies (“Sorry for getting you pregnant,” “Sorry I set you on fire,” “I’m sorry I projectile vomited all over your apartment and cat”), existential gloom (“it just doesn’t matter”), social commentary (“America is screwed”), and things that are apparently too difficult to say out loud (“I think we should see other people,” “Thx 4 fucking my wife”).

Who knew that there was so much you could say with cake? It is truly inspiring.

Aimee Levitt is associate editor of The Takeout.

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DISCUSSION

By definition, fondant is threatening to ruin the taste of a cake.