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Still can’t get toilet paper? Make a cake instead

Toilet paper cakes at Schuerener Backparadies in Dortmund, Germany
Toilet paper cakes at Schuerener Backparadies in Dortmund, Germany
Photo: INA FASSBENDER (Getty Images)

It’s been said that great ideas seem to hit multiple people simultaneously, like the way Newton and Leibniz both came up with calculus at the end of the 17th century or the way Armageddon and Deep Impact came out at the exact same time in 1998 and No Strings Attached and Friends With Benefits did the same in 2011. Now bakers in Dortmund, Germany and Springfield, Illinois have begun selling toilet paper cake. In future years, toilet paper will likely be remembered as the symbol of this global crisis, so that makes perfect sense. (Someone should design a flag.)

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The Dortmund cake has received a lot more media attention, maybe because it’s being sold in an independent bakery and is a bestseller while the Springfield cake is in a grocery store unheralded (and maybe because there’s something slightly depressing about grocery store cakes sitting on shelves under their snap-plastic domes). Or maybe it’s because the Dortmund toilet paper appears to be of the deluxe quilted variety, while the Springfield looks more like the basic everyday one-ply kind. The Dortmund cake is marble (oy, the implications!) while the Springfield cake is white.

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In the same spirit, two YouTube bakers, Frenchie’s Bakery and Sugar High Score, have created videos of how to make your very own toilet paper cake at home if your home should be far from Dortmund or Springfield or if you happen to be looking for a weekend project.

Aimee Levitt is associate editor of The Takeout.

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DISCUSSION

andtrollingishalfthebattle
AndTrollingIsHalfTheBattle

Now I am wondering what it would be like to wipe your arse with cake. Might have to go to the store later.