Do Ben & Jerry's Dairy Cows Actually Get Massages?

Ben & Jerry's started life in 1978 as a small ice cream parlor in Burlington and has since become a beloved institution, earning renown for its creamy textures and the endless variety of flavors augmented by chunky mix-ins. As you might expect from a company founded by two guys from Vermont, Ben & Jerry's leans left of center and doesn't care if customers don't like its politics. Although it lines the freezer aisles in red and blue states alike, the company still has a certain post-hippie, crunchy-granola reputation. So, if a rumor spreads about Ben & Jerry's massaging cows, well, it certainly sounds like something the company might do. If the Birkenstock fits, right?

It's certainly a delightful mental image. Picture a cow laid out on a massage table, two slices of cucumbers over its eyes, as a muscle-bound masseur works his magic. Alas, the real world isn't quite so whimsical and Ben and Jerry's does not massage its cows. 

When Chowhound asked Ben & Jerry's Values Led Dairy Specialist, Tom Gates, about the claim, after it appeared in an article by the HuffPost, he said, "we believe the reference to massages was the result of the cow brush requirement." This practice is part of the company's Caring Dairy program, which offers financial incentives to farmers who meet certain criteria for animal welfare. This includes providing the right kind of feed, testing the soil to make sure the cows graze on high-quality grass, and, yes, brushing the cows.

Why brush the cows? Well, it's not to smooth out frizzy hair or tame flyaways. The brushes more closely resemble those giant spinning things you go through at the car wash. Cows love being brushed and groomed – they find it immensely relaxing, much the same way humans find massages relaxing (hence, perhaps, the confusion). 

It's certainly a nice thing to do, but Ben & Jerry's Caring Dairy program isn't just a matter of altruism. Studies have shown that happy cows produce more milk, and better quality milk than they otherwise would. This is important when making a rich, high-quality product — you can make ice cream at home without a machine, but you'll still want to use premium ingredients for the best texture and flavor. 

Brushing the cows may take some extra effort, and it may not involve a massage therapist, but it's a wise move — and it's a much more pleasant way of being food conscious than monitoring cow farts (you may laugh but Burger King has already become a leader in fart prevention technology to lower it's livestocks' carbon emissions).

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