Green Olives And Cream Cheese Sandwich Review: A Heavenly Combo Or Total Trash?
You can't deny the simple pleasures of a three-ingredient sandwich, like a peanut butter and jelly, ham and cheese, or tomato and mayo sandwich (with that third ingredient being the bread, of course). One particular three-ingredient sandwich has been on our mind lately, and that's the green olive and cream cheese sandwich.
Sandwich blogger and TikTok creator Jim Behymer (@sandwichtribunal), who's previously contributed to The Takeout, posted a video about making one himself. It's as simple as it sounds: Two slices of white bread spread with a thick swipe of cream cheese on each side with a nice big layer of chopped green olives in the middle. This makes for a sandwich that's both intriguing and polarizing, since not everyone's a fan of green olives — and we had to see if this sandwich was a good exercise in simplicity or if it's one that's destined to stay in quiet obscurity.
@sandwichtribunal Sometimes it pays to just be simple. Tagging Barry 'cause I mention him in the video. Hiya Barry! #greenolives #castelvetrano #creamcheese #sandwich #simple
The kind of green olive you buy does matter
If you're going to try making an olive and cream cheese sandwich at home, the type of green olive you buy matters. You're looking for the pitted green variety (sans pimentos if you want to be as pure as possible), and if you're looking to get them off the grocery store shelf rather than from the olive bar, you want the kind from the jar, not the can. I only warn you because I learned this the hard way. I initially bought a can of green olives, thinking they were the same as the kind from the jar, but instead I discovered mottled green olives inside that tasted like the soft mild black ones you put on nachos. My sacrifice is your gain.
I'm also going to note that finding green pitted olives without pimentos can be somewhat of a rarity; I had to go to three stores before I found any, though I'm sure the stuffed kind work just fine for the purpose of this sandwich too. You can, of course, buy fancier ones, like Castelvetranos, but to me the spirit of this sandwich seems pretty humble in nature, so to elevate it feels like it would be missing the point.
Use plenty of both fillings
In terms of filling quantities, don't be shy. I took two pieces of squishy white sandwich bread and spread a hefty dose of softened Philadelphia cream cheese on both of them, then layered one with a full 1/2 cup of roughly chopped green olives before I put the top piece on. There's no need to toast the bread, either. This is comfort food-type stuff, and you probably don't even have to chop the olives as much as I did. You just want them to be in an even uniform layer so that you get the same amount of filling in each bite.
I did admittedly make a tiny tweak, though. Maybe it's because the cream cheese reminded me of a cream cheese and cucumber tea sandwich, but I inexplicably felt the need to trim the crusts off the bread, which Behymer doesn't bother doing while recreating the sandwich in his TikTok video. What's funny is I almost never do that with my sandwiches, but in this case, it just seemed appropriate.
This sandwich is creamy, salty, and tangy all at once
After my first bite, I was hooked. It takes the salty, sharply tangy, and almost meaty quality of the chopped green olives, which would be way too much on their own, and tempers them with the rich creaminess of the spreadable cheese. I can't see this being on any type of bread other than the soft white kind, either. You want it to have a soft bite without a ton of contrasting textures; a crusty chewy bread would obliterate the softness of the olives.
I will admit, however, that the salt levels in this sandwich are pretty intense, so just be warned. Plus, well, if you hate green olives, you're going to hate this thing since they're the star of the sandwich. I see this three-ingredient sandwich as less of a filling meal and more of a snack or a light lunch, so don't make one expecting to be filled up — just try it when you want to satisfy a bunch of taste sensations all at once.
Considering I usually have some form of olives in my fridge, I have a feeling I'll be making these sandwiches again sometime. They're simple, and that's the best part about them. I can just make one as a snack for whenever I'm craving salt, fat, and comfort, all in a simple handheld package. And if you're an olive fiend, it's worth noting that olive burgers exist — they're burgers with a green olive and mayo topping that hail from Michigan, and speaking from personal experience, they're good too. I've always thought of green olives as serving a supporting role to something bigger, like a martini or a cheese plate, but this sandwich has me wondering if I've underestimated them this entire time.