This Is The Only Correct Way To Cut A Sandwich

Whether you prefer French toast grilled cheese, a shower Reuben, or your favorite weird peanut butter sandwich, I think we can all agree that sandwiches are wonderful and delicious. But when it comes to the best way to cut your favorite sandwich, things get more divisive. Some people prefer squares, some hack off the crust, and others don't cut their sandwich at all. And hey, if it works for you, I'm not here to judge. But if you're looking to have the optimal sandwich experience, there's only one way to slice things: diagonally.

In my humble opinion, a simple diagonal slice, producing two perfect triangles, is the only correct way to cut a sandwich. Triangles are just more interesting and aesthetically pleasing than boring old squares or rectangles. Imagine a peanut butter and jelly sandwich cut into two rectangles. Now imagine that same PB&J cut into two beautiful triangles, elegantly stacked, bursting with creamy peanut butter and chunky jam. There's a clear winner here, and it's shaped like a pyramid. 

Diagonally sliced sandwiches don't just look better; they taste better, too. For one thing, the diagonal cut reveals more of the sandwich's wonderful fillings. The sight of that crispy bacon, ooey-gooey cheese, crunchy lettuce, creamy mayo, or whatever deliciousness you've packed between the two slices of bread primes your senses for an optimal tasting experience before you've even taken the first bite.

The benefits don't stop once you've bit in. The diagonal cut makes the sandwich more accessible and therefore more pleasurable to consume. The triangles are just easier to fit in your pie-hole because you can start at the corners and work your way in. Beyond the previously discussed aesthetic advantages, this may be why most restaurants slice sandwiches in triangles — when eating in public, it's much easier to look graceful eating a sandwich triangle than a rectangle. You might even escape without getting condiments on your face.

Crust is probably one of the most controversial sandwich components. Some people swear it's the best part and others won't touch a slice of bread that hasn't been surgically decrusted. Personally, I'm a crust eater. But no matter where you stand on the great crust debate, slicing your sandwich diagonally will result in a superior eating experience. 

Cutting a sandwich diagonally results in more crust-free surface area than if it is cut into rectangles. If you're a crust hater, it's just easier (and way less messy) to eat only the crust-free insides of triangle sandwich halves. And if you are a crust lover, it's easier to isolate the crust and eat it in one long, deliciously crusty strip.

No matter how you slice it, the superior way to cut a sandwich is clearly diagonally. Of course, people can do whatever they want with their own sandwiches. But I'll be over here enjoying perfect PB&J triangles (the correct way).