Remember the ’90s? Sure you do. You must. Even if you were born in 2001, you still remember the ’90s, because we’re constantly being asked to remember the ’90s. There are Saved By The Bell pop-ups, scratch-and-sniff stamps, and a Fuller House. It was announced this week that an Arachnophobia remake is in the works. Hell, they’re even bringing Clarissa Explains It All back, though how Clarissa will be able to explain anything now, I have no earthly idea.
Given her ties to Nickelodeon, perhaps Clarissa will at least be able to explain the reemergence of wacky ketchup?
Technically, EZ Squirt was a product of the early aughts, but Nickelodeon’s new bright green ketchup isn’t meant to stoke nostalgia for that ill-begotten Shrek tie-in. Instead, they’re aiming for the memory centers of the You Can’t Do That On Television generation, many of whom have kids now, and at least one of whom (me) remembers Gak with great fondness.
Per Thrillist, Slime Sauce is available exclusively at Walmart, costs $2.58 a bottle, and will make one’s hot dog look like it just stumbled through the obstacle course on Double Dare. The color is spot-on, a shade that immediately evokes Nickelodeon’s heyday. The taste is, presumably, ketchupy. The target audience is definitely not me, but maybe kids will be into it? Double Dare is still on, apparently, and as the image up there indicates, Nick is still dosing celebrities with slime, so it must still be a thing. (We’re so sorry, John Cena.)
Also still a thing, and also available at Walmart? Gak.