I haven’t washed my cherished Nalgene bottle in six months. Sorry! Sometimes the truth hurts. It’s not so much that I’m too lazy to wash it; it’s more about protecting the growing sticker collection that adorns the outside of the water bottle. Will this negligence kill me? Maybe. If so, I’ll die doing what I love: gazing at a novelty sticker that reads “Knitters Make Good Lovers.”
I acknowledge that my filthy water bottle is gross, but I also know that we all have those nasty little food/drink habits (like the Navy officers who refuse to wash their coffee mugs out of pure stubbornness). So I’m here asking you to ’fess up. Do you chug your roommate’s milk straight out of the carton? Do you eat fistfuls of spaghetti out of the pot without washing your hands? Do you use your tongue to excavate barbecue sauce from beneath your french manicure?
One caveat: I’m not interested in hearing anyone degrade cultural food practices as “gross.” We’re not doing that. I’m looking for your grossest personal food habits—the kind that would send your mother straight to her grave. Come to me, ye foul creatures, and confess.