Photo: Scott Olson (Getty Images)

Some hybrid fast-food locations are greater than the sum of their parts. Take the combo KFC-Taco Bells: Nacho Fries in KFC gravy? Fuck. Yes. But the lone worldwide location combining IHOP and Applebee’s—which just opened in Detroit this week—misses a few key crossover opportunities.

Namely, the $1 Applebee’s cocktail specials are not, we repeat, are not available at this Applebee’s-IHOP, according to Eater Detroit. (What is even the point then, I ask you.) Also, one cannot order Applebee’s items such as grilled chicken wonton tacos for breakfast; the location serves an IHOP-only breakfast, then transitions to a hybrid Applebee’s-IHOP menu for lunch, happy hour, and dinner. Even the new IHOP/IHOB burger-centric menu is not available at this location.

But most importantly, missing from what could be a glorious union is the portmanteau. Apparently Dine Brands—which owns both Applebee’s and IHOP—and the local franchisee who combined their forces both missed the chance to create a glorious moniker for the two. Fine, we will do it for them:

  • AppleHOP
  • IBee’s
  • International House of $1 Long Island Iced Teas
  • HOPplebee’s
  • International House of Appeteezers
  • Applehouse
  • Denny’s
  • International House of Bees

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