Illustration for article titled Woman who wanted shredded cheese on her fajitas spends date night in agony
Photo: Joe Amon/The Denver Post (Getty Images)

Over the weekend, Twitter was laser-focused on a “news” story that only a platform like Twitter could provide and sustain: the saga of the beleaguered Fajitas Shredded Cheese Wife. Allow us to explain.

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In a now deleted tweet, user @jsv4 posted a picture of his very forlorn wife across the table from him while dining inside Mi Cocina restaurant in Allen, Texas. The text of the tweet tagged the restaurant and read, “My wife, date night after 3+ months locked up on quarantine. Waiting for shredded cheese as it’s the only way she can eat fajitas. We’ve asked 4 people, going on 18 minutes now. Just unreal at Allen, TX location. We gotta quit blaming #COVID19 for crappy service.” Here is the picture of his spouse.

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The general response to the tweet was a resoundingly sarcastic, “Wow, times are tough, aren’t they?” We’ve all had less than ideal customer service experiences; perhaps some of us have even taken to social media in order to publicly shame the corporate entities (or restaurant chains) that have wronged us. But in the middle of a global pandemic, the person who wants cheese for their fajitas on date night, and fails to receive it from a staff that has put itself at personal risk to learn an entirely new service model so that locals can order date night fajitas as if there is not currently a record spike in Texas COVID-19 cases, fails to qualify as the aggrieved party here. We won’t share the many, many jokes that spiraled outward from this viral post over the weekend, but they’re easy to find if you go looking. “We gotta quit blaming COVID for crappy service” is an ironic call to action from someone using quarantine-related cabin fever as an excuse to give servers a hard time when the long awaited date night meal is less than flawless.

One of the more striking aspects of the Shredded Cheese Wife saga, though, is the uncompromising nature of this Tex-Mex order. An entire table full of food is growing cold and congealed because of an absolute inability to consume fajitas without shredded cheese. Though this woman and her husband (whose righteous indignation is what made the tweet so easy to mock) are not sympathetic characters in the slightest, it’s a fun thought experiment to consider what sort of misprepared meal, if any, could make any of us even half as despondent as this woman was on date night.

Do you have any bizarrely hardline food habits? Do you perhaps refuse to eat cookies if no milk is available to pair with them? Would you sooner go hungry than eat a PB&J prepared with grape jelly instead of strawberry? Can you only eat a Pop-Tart if it has done its time in the toaster? Are there any two foods that become unsalvageable if they touch each other on the plate? We want to hear about all your most unjustifiably picky eating. Because maybe if you unload these neuroses onto us, you won’t subject your future restaurant servers to them.

Marnie Shure is editor in chief of The Takeout.

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