Woman Who Brazenly Stole Dog Topiary From Brooklyn Bakery Thought It Was "Harmless"

An honest mistake, we suppose. After all, who among us, strolling along the city streets, hasn't found an attractive pebble, an apparently discarded planter, a delightful piece of folk art that we'd like to take home with us? Maybe that's what this woman considered before deciding to walk off with a dog topiary outside of Brooklyn establishment Bakery On Bergen. Unfortunately for her, she was totally busted on video.

Gothamist reports extensively on this saga, noting that in the security video made public on Instagram and elsewhere, the woman in question appears to be just nonchalantly smoking a cigarette when she knocks the topiary dog over with her foot and walks off with it. Bakery On Bergen owner Kim Vann reports that the shop had recently undergone a makeover on a TV show, and the dog was one of three added during the renovation.

Once the post was publicized, helped by Vann's friend, radio host Angel Yee, the culprit came forward, confessing to "stupidly stealing your ivy dog" but "it seemed harmless to me." She called it a "dumb drunk thing to do." (Also, day drunk.)

The dog was eventually returned, not by the woman, but by a man with his jacket hood pulled up around his face, his head pointed down with a ball cap lid covering his face, according to The Daily Dot.

Gothamist then reached out to the woman who took the dog, who frankly sounds a bit defensive: "The dog has been returned and it seems the bakery has gotten some much needed publicity from it and all is back where its supposed to be. I meant no ill will and unless the owner wants to reach out to me personally thats all i have to say. I reached out to the owner to make it right almost immediately and instead of responding made a marketing campaign out of it. Good for her. I wish the bakery all the success apologize for my actions and hope we can all move on from this."

We would be more likely to move on if we all could keep in mind a valuable lesson: Don't take shit that isn't yours. Even attractive dog topiaries on the street. Seems simple enough.