Photo: artpartner-images/Kitjanat Burinram (Photographer’s Choice/EyeEm/Getty Images)

As capers go, we gotta say, this one is pretty weak. A 29-year-old woman in Eunice, Louisiana, allegedly had hatched quite a plan, though. KATC.com reports that Correill Bradley “told police she purchased her food from the restaurant and upon biting into the sandwich felt a strange object in her mouth and then pain. According to police, Bradley then went home and discovered the razor blade inside her sandwich.” Police were called to the hospital treating Bradley, but reported that her injuries appeared to be self-inflicted. They also found inconclusive evidence upon examining the sandwich itself.

What was even more damning to Bradley’s case is the video footage police later discovered. The footage from a nearby store allegedly shows Bradley stealing the razor blades in question only moments before entering the restaurant where she purchased the sandwich. The day of the incident, she had already filed an insurance claim and was investigating a lawsuit. In such a connect-the-dots case, “Officers determined that no one at the restaurant had placed any foreign materials inside of the food that Bradley purchased and that her claims were false. The information obtained from police led to Bradley’s arrest on charges of Criminal Mischief and Theft.” Honestly, Deputy Dawg could have figured this one out. She could at least have brought her own, non-stolen razor blade.

This caper is so lame, it is an insult to the name of capers. Just check out the Ocean’s Eleven movies (and the upcoming Ocean’s Eight) or Logan Lucky or some films with “Job” in the title (Bank Job, The Italian Job) for complex (in comparison) cinematic examples of how a caper can actually be pulled off.