Woman suing Florida restaurant claims drag queen's breast caused her grave injury

Illustration for article titled Woman suing Florida restaurant claims drag queens breast caused her grave injury
Photo: tpzijl (Getty Images)

Just your standard, Monday morning injurious breast story: Civil court records show a Denver woman is suing the Tampa location of Hamburger Mary’s for $1.5 million, claiming she was injured by a drag queen’s breast during a performance at the restaurant chain. The Orlando Sentinel reports the guest says she dined at Hamburger Mary’s for a friend’s birthday and was unaware that there would be a drag performance.

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The Orlando Sentinel quotes the court records as stating: “A performer grabbed her head and ‘wiggle[d] her breast against’ Molina’s face and head ‘at least 8 times.’ Molina said the performer then ‘violently’ pounded her head against the performer’s chest ‘up to 9 times.’”

OK, I have a lot of questions that are not addressed by the Sentinel’s brief write-up, namely: What sort of gladiator-style drag performance was this? And how hard would anyone have to “wiggle” their breasts to cause $1.5 million worth of “cervical pain and uncontrollable headaches”? How does a breast in your face cause cervical pain? How does one weaponize one’s breasts without Xena-style boob armor?

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Rest assured, faithful readers, that if additional details of this incident come to light, The Takeout will update this story with more information.

Kate Bernot is a freelance writer and a certified beer judge. She was previously managing editor at The Takeout.

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DISCUSSION

I call shenanigans on this whole thing.

1. There is no WAY someone planned or planned to attend a birthday at Hamburger Mary’s without knowing there’s drag there. Even if you only looked them up to get driving directions you would see that drag performances/bingo is their thing.

2. The headaches thing alone would maybe sound possible, but cervical pain? Wut?

3. It supposedly happened in 2015 and she just filed now.