Illustration for article titled Woman suing Florida restaurant claims drag queens breast caused her grave injury
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Just your standard, Monday morning injurious breast story: Civil court records show a Denver woman is suing the Tampa location of Hamburger Mary’s for $1.5 million, claiming she was injured by a drag queen’s breast during a performance at the restaurant chain. The Orlando Sentinel reports the guest says she dined at Hamburger Mary’s for a friend’s birthday and was unaware that there would be a drag performance.

The Orlando Sentinel quotes the court records as stating: “A performer grabbed her head and ‘wiggle[d] her breast against’ Molina’s face and head ‘at least 8 times.’ Molina said the performer then ‘violently’ pounded her head against the performer’s chest ‘up to 9 times.’”


OK, I have a lot of questions that are not addressed by the Sentinel’s brief write-up, namely: What sort of gladiator-style drag performance was this? And how hard would anyone have to “wiggle” their breasts to cause $1.5 million worth of “cervical pain and uncontrollable headaches”? How does a breast in your face cause cervical pain? How does one weaponize one’s breasts without Xena-style boob armor?

Rest assured, faithful readers, that if additional details of this incident come to light, The Takeout will update this story with more information.

Kate Bernot is managing editor at The Takeout and a certified beer judge.

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