Woman eats engagement ring in dream self defense

Illustration for article titled Woman eats engagement ring in dream self defense
Photo: egal (iStock)

Years ago I had a dream in which the Armenian mafia was trying to steal my kidney so they could transplant it into a horse that was ascending to the papacy; when I woke up, I was told I had been repeatedly been punching my husband in the face as I slept. Today he’s going to realize that things could have definitely been worse, like in the case of Jenna Evans who, in reaction to a vivid dream, swallowed her very expensive 2.4-carat diamond engagement ring.


In her dream, Evans was being relentlessly pursued by a gang of bad guys that live deep in the recesses of her subconscious—in a post on Facebook, she claims they had boarded the high speed train she was traveling on with her fiancee, their motives unknown. One thing was for certain, though: Her engagement ring was in danger, and needed to be protected. Her fiancé—in the dream— told her to swallow the ring in order to keep it safe, which Evans did in the dream and in real life as well. No word on whether Evans has told her fiancé that this entire situation is actually his fault.

Doctors chose not to let Evans pass the ring the natural way, because most people’s intestines are too fragile to digest diamonds and pointy metal bits. Doctors performed an endoscopy, the ring retrieved, washed off, and returned it to her fiancee. Evans then asked her fiancee to bring her to In-N-Out, where she ate a Double-Double, mustard and cheese fries, and a chocolate shake.

Evans’ fiancé eventually returned her ring, which she promises to never swallow it again, no matter how many bad guys come after her.

I attempted to do some hard-hitting journalism on this topic by posting a question on Twitter, hoping people would write this story for me. Few people will fess up to swallowing anything, but they did share a bunch of impressive stories about dogs. I think we can all agree that dog content is always relevant to any sort of story, so here you go!


Allison Robicelli is a writer, recipe czar, former professional chef, author of four (quite good) books, and The People's Hot Pocket Princess. Tweet me for recipe help: @Robicellis.


Alright... normally I have to do my best to conceal how little I care when people insist on telling me about their weird dreams...

On the other hand, Allison, you may have just written the single best article opener of all time.

Your dream about fleeing from mafia trying to transplant your organs into a horse-pope needs to become an HBO miniseries immediately!