The state of Wisconsin collapsed into a gravitational singularity this week with the announcement that a grilled bratwurst topped with cheese curds and beer mustard will be sold at Lambeau Field as part of the Green Bay Packer’s centennial season.
Upon news that Peak Wisconsin had been achieved, the physical space where the Badger State once occupied was absorbed into an infinitely dense point of one dimension where all known properties of physics cease to exist.
Before Wisconsin disappeared into the void, a reporter at the Green Bay Press-Gazette sampled this $12 sandwich, known as Brat-in-a-Blanket, during media day at Lambeau Field to commemorate the Packer’s upcoming 100th season. The sandwich was described as a spicy brat that’s enveloped with melted cheese curds on the grill, then slathered with beer mustard and served on a pretzel bun. The Lambeau Field chief who concocted this calls it “the Wisconsin sandwich,” mere moments before the city of Green Bay exploded in a brilliant flash of light, then inverted itself with a force so intense no light or matter could escape.