Where Would Frasier Crane Hang Out In Your Town?

Fans of '90s television have been abuzz for months since it was revealed that, like so many other cultural relics, Frasier is about to be rebooted on Paramount+. But since none of the original cast is returning except for Kelsey Grammer, it appears that our favorite prissy, preppy radio shrink is giving up his sweet, improbably large Seattle pad (with its improbable view of the Space Needle) for new digs in...

Well, it hasn't been revealed yet, but Gabe Guarente of Eater Seattle has speculated that Frasier is bound for Chicago, where he flew in the finale of the original series to visit his girlfriend Charlotte, who had moved there. Guarente took the opportunity to mourn all the fictional Seattle dining establishments we will never see again—farewell, Café Nervosa; au revoir, Chez Henri—and look back on Frasier's finest restaurant moments.

But for the rest of us, this looks like an opportunity. I forwarded Guarente's post to a Frasier-obsessed friend who also lives in Chicago, and within a few minutes, we had concocted a whole new Chicago life for our hero, in which he would live in a mansion on the fancy North Shore, host a podcast with his son Frederick, and fight with his neighbor Billy Corgan when Billy plays his music too loud. But, deep down, Billy and Frasier are really pals, so Frasier would hang out at Madame Zuzu's, Corgan's tea house in Highland Park.

Madame Zuzu's is vegan, which suits Frasier's personality perfectly; he is now the fussiest sort of vegan imaginable. For date nights, he will only consider restaurants with vegan menus such as Girl & the Goat (whose chef, Stephanie Izard, is already a media darling, so she could guest star as herself). He takes satisfaction in eating brunch at Uncommon Ground, a restaurant that bills itself as the greenest in Chicago because it has an organic rooftop farm, though sometimes Frederick will convince him to eat at the Chicago Diner, a vegan junk food joint in Northalsted, the gay neighborhood formerly known as Boystown. In one episode, Frasier develops an insatiable yearning for the diner's famous pierogi quesadilla that he must fulfill immediately, except it's the weekend of the annual International Mr. Leather conference. Comedy ensues.

Have we invented a new parlor game? Where would Frasier live and eat if he moved to your town?