Last Call: Teenager eats 10-patty Whataburger for the benefit of all mankind

Photo: typhoonski (iStock)

Making the rounds on the internet today is this Tik Tok of a teenage boy at a Texas Whataburger housing a burger with ten beef patties and five slices of cheese. If you are a parent of a teenage boy, this is nothing that you haven’t seen before, but if you’re not, it’s a pretty wonderful thing to watch:

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Although it’s only 60 seconds long, I’ve found this short video incredibly cathartic. We are experiencing yet another week of madness in our news cycle, with our divisions over political beliefs and basic human decency have become so extreme that I often doubt that we’ll ever be able to pull ourselves together again. Normally we’re able to put our differences aside and stand united for our great nation’s most important occasions, but after National Taco Day went straight to hell a few weeks ago, I had almost completely lost hope.

But now a light has emerged, and his name his Ethan Mueller! His willingness to destroy his innards with a disturbing amount of meat and cheese brought people of all colors and creeds together to cheer on a hero in the making. I can only pray that my sons will grow up to be just like him and use their ability to scarf down five pounds of junk food in a single sitting for good, not evil.

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About the author

Allison Robicelli

Allison Robicelli is The Takeout staff writer, a former professional chef, host of The Robicelli Argument Clinic Podcast, the author of three books, and a swan meat influencer.