When you eat candy corn—assuming you don’t consider the stuff Satan’s earwax—what’s your go-to method? Do you eat one piece at a time, or a whole handful? Or maybe you will only tolerate the combination of a fistful of candy corn and a smattering of roasted salted peanuts? One plan of attack I had never considered is the “nibbling like a tiny mouse” approach: taking multiple bites to consume a single piece, selecting either the narrow tip or wide base to start from, like it’s a slice of pie or something. And yet, according to a new survey, there are many schools of thought on the best candy corn methods. Observe:
According to what we’re sure is very official data from the National Confectioners Association, 65% of people seem to have the objectively correct opinion: that you should eat the entire piece of candy corn at once. (No one nibbles M&M’s or jelly beans, do they?) However, 29% of respondents start by nibbling the white tip of the candy first before eating the rest, a tactic often applied to Hershey’s Kisses. And, most baffling of all, 7% of candy corn enthusiasts start with chomping off the wide yellow end. This is akin to eating pizza crust-first, and we do not live inside a Pizza Hut commercial, people.
The survey’s methodology is not provided, so it’s hard to know how statistics like “Southerners are 2% more likely than the average American to begin with the wider yellow end, while residents of the Northeast are 4% more likely to enjoy their candy corn in one bite” were determined, but who am I to dispute the research of the National Confectioners Association? Who are any of us to question its findings? If there are any candy corn habits not covered here (such as biting into it from the side like a vampire), we want to hear about them in the comments.