Whole Foods CEO thinks organic peanut butter cups will cure my asthma

Whole Foods CEO presents at SXSW festival in 2013
I hate this man!
Photo: Dustin Finkelstein (Getty Images)

Just last week, I was lying prone on the floor having shelled out a $200 copay on the asthma inhaler I need to keep existing on this hellish plane. Lucky for me, Whole Foods CEO and wealthy cretin John Mackey has the answer to my problem: change my diet so I won’t need healthcare. Excellent! I will inform my ruined lungs posthaste! This will certainly ease my suffering the next time I have an asthma attack because someone burned a candle within a quarter mile of my apartment.


Here’s what went down: In an interview on the podcast Freakonomics Radio that aired on November 4 but recirculated earlier this week, Mackey suggested an asinine bipartisan “solution” to the American health care crisis. “The best solution is not to need health care,” the self-described “conscious capitalist” (I’m gonna hurl!!!) told Freakonomics Radio host Stephen Dubner. “The best solution is to change the way people eat, the way they live, the lifestyle and diet. There’s no reason why people shouldn’t be healthy and have a longer health span. A bunch of drugs is not going to solve the problem.”

Meanwhile, Mackey is worth an estimated $75 million dollars, a fact that makes his casual argument for a healthy lifestyle seem pretty flip amid food apartheid, poverty, and an economy-crushing pandemic. Of course, this isn’t Mackey’s first foray into assholery. In 2009 in an op-ed for the Wall Street Journal, he argued against health care being an “intrinsic ethical right,” and instead argued that “every American adult is responsible for his or her own health.”

Let’s also quickly review Mackey’s September 2020 New York Times interview, which includes sweet nothings like this one:

“Whole Foods has opened up stores in inner cities. We’ve opened up stores in poor areas. And we see the choices. It’s less about access and more about people making poor choices, mostly due to ignorance. It’s like a being an alcoholic. People are just not conscious of the fact that they have food addictions and need to do anything about it.”


My only question: does Mackey have a solution for those of us who are nauseated by the mere sight of his face? BRB, researching holistic remedies.

Staff writer @ The Takeout, joke writer elsewhere. Wrangling dogs and pork shoulder in Chicago.



This fucker is forgetting about the other major factor Genetics. Its the other main reason I’m sitting here wheezing with a nagging pain in my side from gallstones. Hell it affects whole populations. Most Aboriginals like me are well aware our lack of adaption to modern life and diets is another way we are being killed slowly. Its also helps keep us poor since there is a direct correlation between sickness and poverty. Its not just the medical bills being chronically ill often makes it harder to excell at work and school because so much energy goes into managing the illness. The world is designed by white people for white people in so many ways. Even the food we eat caters to the white majority and its killing us all.