Living alone is awesome for a lot of reasons, all of them gross. I can let it mellow if it’s yellow. I can clip my toenails wherever I want. Most importantly, I can eat soup out of a jumbo measuring cup if I decide to leave all of my bowls crusted with lentils in the kitchen sink for, I don’t know, a few days. Therein lies the ethos of my new favorite subreddit: We Want Plates.
The subreddit “crusades against serving food on bits of wood and roof tiles, chips in mugs and drinks in jam jars.” We Want Plates is rich in squalor, a virtual buffet of ridiculous restaurant plating practices ranging from impractical mason jars (2013 called!!!) to precarious onion ring syphon towers. The whole thing begs the question: where the hell are the plates? Also, why are we serving tacos on a log? And when did clothespins become ubiquitous on the brunch scene?
While We Want Plates is technically dedicated to food vessels that no one asked for, I see it as a realm of possibility—especially for those of us who simply refuse to do dishes in a timely manner. Shrimp and grits from a coupe glass? Of course. Mini corn dogs on a decorative ceramic pillow? Seems reasonable to me. After all, I’m happy to leave a frozen pizza on its cardboard slab and dish slices into my palm to avoid dirtying a plate. If I need to eat linguine with a pair of miniature tongs because all of my forks are “soaking” in the sink, I will do so. Unfortunately, I draw the line at obscure salads served in little shoes. For more unnecessary testaments to human ingenuity, check out the entire We Want Plates subreddit.