People are eating salad out of shoes in the We Want Plates Subreddit

Seagull eating pizza off of sidewalk
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Living alone is awesome for a lot of reasons, all of them gross. I can let it mellow if it’s yellow. I can clip my toenails wherever I want. Most importantly, I can eat soup out of a jumbo measuring cup if I decide to leave all of my bowls crusted with lentils in the kitchen sink for, I don’t know, a few days. Therein lies the ethos of my new favorite subreddit: We Want Plates.

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The subreddit “crusades against serving food on bits of wood and roof tiles, chips in mugs and drinks in jam jars.” We Want Plates is rich in squalor, a virtual buffet of ridiculous restaurant plating practices ranging from impractical mason jars (2013 called!!!) to precarious onion ring syphon towers. The whole thing begs the question: where the hell are the plates? Also, why are we serving tacos on a log? And when did clothespins become ubiquitous on the brunch scene?

While We Want Plates is technically dedicated to food vessels that no one asked for, I see it as a realm of possibility—especially for those of us who simply refuse to do dishes in a timely manner. Shrimp and grits from a coupe glass? Of course. Mini corn dogs on a decorative ceramic pillow? Seems reasonable to me. After all, I’m happy to leave a frozen pizza on its cardboard slab and dish slices into my palm to avoid dirtying a plate. If I need to eat linguine with a pair of miniature tongs because all of my forks are “soaking” in the sink, I will do so. Unfortunately, I draw the line at obscure salads served in little shoes. For more unnecessary testaments to human ingenuity, check out the entire We Want Plates subreddit.

Staff writer @ The Takeout, joke writer elsewhere. Wrangling dogs and pork shoulder in Chicago.

DISCUSSION

helpiamacabbage
PossibleCabbage

I dunno, serving an eggplant based salad inside of an eggplant you carved to look like shoes is kind of clever.  As anyone who has ever grown eggplant, or known anybody who is growing eggplant “too much eggplant” is a real problem!