We used Free Slurpee Day to torment 3 of our co-workers

In honor of Free Slurpee Day (7/11), we sent three Onion Inc. employees to the nearest 7-Eleven and had them endure several bouts of brain freeze while racing to finish the chain’s signature 44-ounce frozen beverage. How fast do you think you could finish?



I have never once experienced brain freeze, no matter how cold what I'm eating is, or how fast I'm eating it. Its like having the world's shittiest super power. They'll never let me into the Justice League, unless the fate of the world someday depends on eating a sundae superfast without stopping once to say, "Ow, my brain!"