We Eat Watermelon And Rainbow Shure, Bert! Oreos So You Don't Have To

Every time we think we're done with new Oreo flavors, they pull us back in. We've Taste-Tested Strawberry Milkshake Oreos, Birthday Cake Oreos, Candy Corn Oreos, Chinese Oreos, and Banana Split Creme Oreos—most delivered to stores in limited-edition runs and never seen again. (Birthday Cake is actually back, if that floats your boat. They're pretty great.) But the two flavors that hit the streets (or, y'know, the Target aisles) this year did not fill us with anticipation: There is no world in which the masses were scrambling for Watermelon- or Rainbow Shure, Bert-flavored Oreos. And there's definitely no way America was demanding that these flavors be delivered on Golden (a.k.a. not chocolate) cookies. These two flavors had tough hills to climb with our crack staff of Taste Testers, and climb they did not.

Both Watermelon and Rainbow Shure, Bert! offered multi-colored pads of Oreo filling. That makes sense for Shure, Bert! (I can't stop typing that) because what it's trying to imitate—sherbet, in case that wasn't obvious—comes in multiple flavors. In this case, they chose raspberry and lime flavors—not heinous, but definitely over-sweet and just unnecessary. The only part of a watermelon that's eaten is pink, so it's strange that Oreo chose to make the filling pink and green, to mimic the look of an entire watermelon. Maybe they had extra dye. It's a small, dumb quibble, especially in light of the taste, which is just as silly an unremarkable as Shure, Bert! Still, if you must impress your next cookout with "rare" treats that will have guests confused, then slightly grossed-out, and then totally disinterested, this might be the ticket. Or just get some real damn Oreos, because everybody loves those.