Illustration for article titled Stanley Tucci, internet crush, makes a very boozy Negroni
Photo: Dave J Hogan (Getty Images)

Another day, another collective Twitter thirst spasm. Today’s subject: Stanley Tucci, Emmy winner and esteemed graduate of the Bottom Teeth School of Acting. The actor posted a three-minute Negroni tutorial on Instagram yesterday, and the internet has, predictably, guzzled it down.

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Stanley Tucci’s Negroni

  • Ice
  • 2 shots gin (or 2 shots vodka with lace of gin on top)
  • 1 shot sweet vermouth (not Martini brand)
  • 1 shot Campari
  • 1 orange slice, for garnish
  • 1 spouse, to serve to

In a low, soothing, steady voice, Tucci walks us through a cocktail he’s clearly made a million times. Yep, it’s double the gin of a classic Negroni—you need it. Throw the ice and liquors in a shaker, shake ’em up, and pour into a coupe. Tucci likes his served up, but he’ll allow you to drink it on the rocks, if you prefer. Playfully flirt with your British wife (Emily Blunt’s sister!), then add the garnish and enjoy.

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What is it that’s so alluring about Tucci’s Negroni-making? Perhaps it’s the fact that he’s so comfortable behind a bar, comfortable enough to shit-talk certain vermouth brands, to know terminology like “lace it” and “coupe.” (It’s shocking to see this level of competence from any famous person.) Perhaps it’s that he’s making a cocktail for his wife, flirting with her, thus flirting with the camera, thus flirting with us. Perhaps it’s the slight slam he gives every bottle he puts back down.

But, no. I think it’s just the fact that he’s wearing real clothes—pants with a belt and a shirt that’s tucked in!—something most of us haven’t fathomed in six weeks. Stanley Tucci could be giving a “how to open a can” tutorial, and as long as he’s dressed like a real person we’d still be hooked. Congrats on wearing a belt, Stanley!

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